Joe Security Guard
It was a fall night at 2am; I was working my first "real" job after college. The psych ward was full of interesting stories. Nothing in a text book prepared me for this job yet I spent the previous four years educating myself for this very job.
This night was no different than the others...a patient would come into the hospital in a psychotic episode and needed to be restrained for the safety of themselves and others. However, this night changed my life forever. We often called security to help us restrain patients because let's face it, we were David and the psych patient was Goliath. This is when I met the most beautiful man I have ever known. There we stood; he at her arm, me at the leg, and of course me staring at the hot security guard not paying attention to what I was doing. The hot security guard smiled at me and *BAM* I was out. Well actually I was kicked by the patient because not many people want to be restrained and this woman was certainly not going to cooperate. As I was being rescued by my hot security guard, I couldn't help but think "why was I at her leg and he at her arm?" We clearly missed protocol on that one or I was trying to prove that I was a big tough, independent woman in front of the hottie security man. I decided to "note to self" for future reference and let the security guards handle the strongest part of a person.
As I sat in the office with an ice pack on my goose egg, I began to feel like a school girl again and caught myself daydreaming about life with my hot security rescuer. I caught myself writing my name with his last name, though I didn't know his last name. I only knew him as "Joe Security Guard," so naturally I did the next best thing..."Carrie Security Guard." "Yep that could work," I thought to myself. Just as I was doodling for the millionth time, my hot new security guard husband showed back up. Apparently, I had been dreaming for so long that I forgot it was time to take the patient out of restraints. Well fortunately my new man was here right on time to help. Hmmm...wait a minute normally we have to call security to remind them, I thought to myself. Could this be a sign that maybe he was interested in me???
After a month I got the courage to ask him out and wondered why he hadn't asked me out. I didn't care, I was going to Carpe Diem today! To my chagrin another girl was also pining for my man. Clearly she did not get the memo that this man was going to be my new husband; he just didn't know it yet. It's like I wanted to mark my territory and pee all around him, but I am a lady (and maybe a little passive aggressive) so I waited patiently for her to leave. Once she left it was game on!
Our fist date was October 25, 2000. It was a wonderful night and I didn't want it to end. He brought me back to Hog Swamp and I remember thinking "I don't want to go back". The next day Joe called and said that he also didn't like bringing me back to Hog Swamp; so he invited me to live with him. I calmly said, "yeah that's cool", but really inside I was freaking jumping for joy and not because I had just moved back to Hog Swamp after living in the Sorority in college, but because I got to live with the hot security guard! It turns out both Joe and I were madly in love.
About a few months of living in sin...err dating; Joe Security Guard came to me and said that he no longer wished to finish his business degree and would like instead to be become a police officer. My immediate thought was; well my "marry a doctor, be a domestic goddess plan, live in a mansion" didn't pan out after I met my Hottie McSecurity Guard. I was just settling on to plan B "marry a business man, have a part-time job, and be a domestic goddess living in a nice middle class abode" certainly was the next best thing. But, marrying a police officer surely meant "full-time job, living in Crapids with bed sheets as curtains." Naturally, my response was "I'm not going to date/marry a cop." What he did next sent my shallowness to the first circle of hell to go and play cards with the devil himself. He ripped up the police academy application and finished his business degree. I'm the worst person in the world at the moment and I clearly don't deserve this man.
One day after work we decided to go have some drinks with co-workers. We were all enjoying the atmosphere and each other's company and Joe whispers to me that the two guys at the bar are going to get into a fight. I draw my attention to these guys and they look like they were just having a heated discussion. Then all of the sudden one of the guys punches the other. Joe jumps over the table and runs over to the situation and grabs the one guy who punched the other guy. The rest of us basically ran the other way. That was the moment that I knew Joe wasn't meant for the business world. He was meant to be a police officer. Anyone who can carry on a conversation with people yet observe their world around them and run towards danger...needs to protect the rest of us.
To my surprise, Joe wanted to finish his business degree and try his hand in the business world. It wasn't a shocker that he got a job right away because he is the type of guy that everyone wants to be around. He's smart, funny, and of course unbelievably hot! The only problem is that he looked miserable (beautiful in a suit though), but a desk job was definitely not his thing. Thankfully, I since sought help from my parentals back in Hog Swamp about my shallowness and was given a long lecture about how selfish I was being. I decided they were right (shhh...don't tell them I said that). I stopped and picked up an application to the police academy and then headed to the local Target to find shiny new bed sheets for my future Crapids home. After filing out the paperwork I handed it to him and he said, "what's this?" To my reply, "your calling." During his time at the police academy, I had never seen a more happy, fulfilled Joe. It truly was beautiful.
On October 25, 2003 I began my life as a police wife...living in Crapids (minus the bed sheets on the windows)...married to the hottest most funny guy that I have ever known. Life was good.
9/12/2015 08:17:27 am
I'm pretty sure you packed up your crap and announced that you are moving in!
9/12/2015 10:33:31 pm
Too funny Roxy! it could have been like that? No basically Joe is frugal and probably wanted to save money on rent...hahaha
4/20/2016 06:16:23 pm
Oh, how sweet.
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