Let me be clear about who I am. I am the mom who was planning for independence by the time my girls were 8 so they could stay at home for brief periods by themselves. I am not a hold-your-hand, spoon-feed-you-information type of mom. I don’t do for a child what they can already do for themselves. I am the mom who changes the wifi password daily to ensure that chores are being done first. I am also the mom who tries to prevent problems. I plan and plan some more and when my plans don’t work out, I get stressed. My stress is usually directed at my family; namely my girls in the morning as I have the sole responsibility to get them out the door and to school.
I’ve decided today I don’t care anymore that you are waiting an extra 30 seconds in the school drop off line so that my oldest will finally get out of the car. See, I am done stressing her out with my nagging words of “there are people waiting, hurry” and “go, go, go.” What you didn’t see; was me planning 2 blocks before school I was already saying, “unbuckle and get your backpacks on” in hopes that my oldest would be ready by the time I was in the line. A good day is when my oldest is unbuckled right as I am dropping her off. A great day is when I can make it to the bus stop in the morning so I don’t even have to worry about what you are thinking or going to do behind me in that drop off line.
I wonder if you have to tell your child to get dressed, let him/her process for a few minutes what you just said, hope that he/she doesn’t get distracted by literally anything, and not have to tell him/her 10 more times to get dressed. I wonder if your child takes 15 minutes just to get out of bed? Do you ever have your child sleep in their uniform at night? I know my daughter has and it’s likely the one she wore the day before. It’s not a fight I am willing to have on some days. I am already having to constantly direct her every morning every single task. She’s nearly 11. It’s not that she doesn’t want to do these things, she just gets stuck. I’m a cruise director of a sinking ship. I wonder if you have to make sure that your car is cleaned out every night so that your child doesn’t get distracted by anything in your car on the way to school? Even a gum wrapper would distract my oldest. She’ll pick it up, smooth it out, fold it up to make it look like a new piece of gum, but this will take her longer than the 13-minute drive to school. You may not understand that, so I encourage you if you are ever willing to come and join me some morning to understand.
I am thankful that my youngest doesn’t have the struggles that my oldest has, so of course you see her jumping out of the car at lightning speed much like your child; I would imagine. I wonder what it’s like having an older sister that you can clearly see has some struggles, takes medications, goes to neurofeedback weekly, and has special services at school? I just hope that while she doesn’t understand why her older sister doesn’t get out the car as fast as she can, she will still show compassion and patience with her and others like her. Unlike your willingness to show patience with me the other day.
I just need you to know that I don’t care anymore. I refuse to send my daughter to school stressed by my nagging words. My last words to her will no longer be “there are people waiting, hurry or go, go, go.” They will be “I love you and have a great day sweetie.” Period. I can only plan so much and anticipate so many problems that could go wrong, that I am done with you and worrying about what you think or if my beautiful daughter is taking longer than 30 f****** seconds to get out of the car. Take care Lexus SUV you are no longer my problem and your errant honking no longer bothers me. More than likely you will now see me smiling knowing that I just sent my daughter to school in a good mood.